• shalafi@lemmy.world
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    15 hours ago

    Cleaning out for a surgery, thought I’d be smart, get it over with and do a good job. Drank TWO. Seems off topic, but germane to the story, I had shaved my asshole the night before.

    Cut to the chase, I was screaming at my wife, “Get the neighbor! GET THE NEIGHBOR!” (Neighbor was a nurse.) I was weeping in pain. Friends and neighbors (heh), I never weep in pain. Ever seen a sandpapered asshole? I have. In the mirror.

    • Øπ3ŕ@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      13 hours ago

      If the shape your mouth makes when saying “diarrhea” is mirrored by your sphincter when expelling it, I have no idea what the onomatopoeia would be for what you’ve described — but Cthulhu could pronounce it flawlessly.